Discovering my voice.

      I have been a parrot my entire life, repeating what I've been told. I have tried to speak up numerous times, only to be discounted, discouraged, and degraded. My voice needed to be louder to ensure I was heard. I started Voice Lessons on Wednesday, October 18, 2011. I was scared out of my wits. If I had the instructor's phone number, I would have called and said I couldn't justify spending the money and the gas to take the lessons. Yes, I want lessons. I have wanted lessons since I was a young girl. My problem was that I was scared, plain, and straightforward. Scared of change. I was also afraid of independence, a new experience for me. Getting out of my comfort zone and doing things for me for no reason other than wanting to. Also, there's the call to action; if I learn to use my voice, I'll be expected to use it.

      The lesson went well. The instructor told me I have a big voice. He told me I clenched my jaw to squash my voice. Yes, I agree.  

     My homework for this week has been to open my mouth and let my voice out. When I got home, I had a chance to practice my homework on Richard. He was not pleased about the lessons, he wanted to know how could I justify spending the money for lessons, and spending the fuel to get there. Does that sound familiar? His voice rang through my head, trying to talk me out of taking the lessons. I opened my mouth and told him, "I want to take lessons, and I am doing this for myself. I will continue with my lessons. I don't do much for myself; this is for me. End of discussion." He has said no more.

     It felt energizing to use my own voice. Voice lessons have been justified. I am looking forward to continuing them.

Autumn Awakening

I am settling into the slower Autumn rhythms. The shorter, cooler days are perfect for baking, spinning fiber into yarn, and spending the evenings snuggled into a good book. I still have 2/3 of the 55 gal drum of sheep wool to wash, card, and spin. I’ve started “Herman the great sourdough starter,” he lives on the kitchen counter through the fall, winter, and spring. I rarely bake in the summer; the oven makes the kitchen too hot. I am glad I wasn’t a woman in the old days, cooking on a wood-burning stove year-round. I miss cooking on the Southern Comfort wood cook stove in the winters of my girlhood.

School daze

As I worked on following through on this year’s New Year’s Resolution, I decided to work on completing my college education.

I tried college for the first time in 2008. I was advised that the “drop date” erased the classes as if I had never signed up for them. I dropped all my classes by their drop date, expecting no penalty. I went back to college this semester. I learned I may lose my financial aid because the 2008 classes were not erased, and I received failing grades. I must do well this semester and get out of Academic Jeopardy. 

I still haven’t learned the valuable lesson about blindly believing what someone tells me.

Checking in...

Update on this year's theme; Follow Through.

1. Flute Practice: I have completed book one and moved on to guitar. I practice whenever I get a moment that my 'other' is not within earshot. He's too critical. At this stage in my learning, I don't need to subject myself to his ridicule.

2. Bunny Business: It was pushed to the back burner and is now just a hobby. It may be revisited at a later date, or it may not.

3. Junk Purge: The attic, barn, and basement have been purged of junk. (Now, if only I would prioritize unjunking closets.)

4. Runes: The "Party Plan" business is in process. I have made business cards. I had my first party on May 22, 2011. It went well. I am a rune and Tarot Card Reader, offering individual consultations, parties, and classes.

January

A new year.

The theme for the past year was simplify.
The theme for the present year is follow-through.
I need to complete, finish, or follow through with many things.

For example;
1. I have yet to be honest about flute practice. Had I been focused, I could have finished 'Flute Book One.'
2. I could have an established, profitable bunny business had I had a plan in place and acted upon it.
3. The basement, barn, garage, and attic need to be purged of outgrown, unwanted, unneeded items. I just haven't made the removal of the 'junk' a priority.
4. I have told myself for many years that I would practice Runes more. However, that goal is not definitive enough to complete.

I decided to make achievable goals out of the above items.
I have thus far come up with the following:
1. Flute practice: I have broken down the practice into lessons. Six lessons equals six weeks, with twenty minutes of practice six days a week.
2. Bunny Business: I am currently writing a business plan to establish my business goals. The deadline for the plan is February 28, 2011.
3. Junk purge: Come back to it later. I have no particular plans at this time. Revisit in March for spring cleaning.
4. Runes: I have some thoughts rolling around in the back of my head; perhaps I should journal. I will revisit February 7, the Monday after 'Flute Book One' is complete.