My entire life I have been a parrot, repeating what I’ve been told. I have tried to speak up numerous times in my life, only to be discounted, discouraged, and degraded. My voice hasn’t been big enough to ensure I was heard. I started Voice Lessons on Wednesday October 18, 2011. I was scared out of my wits. If I had the instructors phone number, I would have called and said I couldn’t justify spending the money and the gas to take the lessons. Yes, I want lessons. I have wanted lessons since I was a young girl. My problem was I was scared, plane and simple. Scared of change. I was also scared of the independence; a new experience for me. Getting out of my comfort zone, and doing things for me, for no other reason then: I want to. Also there’s the call to action, if I learn to use my voice, I’ll be expected to use it.
I believe the lesson went well. The instructor told me I have a big voice. He told me I clench my jaw in attempt to squash my voice. Yes, I agree.
My homework for this week has been to open my mouth and let my voice out. As soon as I got home I had a chance to practice my homework on Richard. He was not pleased about the lessons, he wanted to know how could I justify spending the money for lessons, and spending the fuel to get there. Does that sound familiar? It was his voice ringing through my head that was trying to talk me out of taking the lessons. I opened my mouth and told him, “I want to take lessons, I am doing this for me. I will continue with my lessons. I don’t do much for myself, this is for me. End of discussion.” He has said no more.
It felt energizing to use my own voice. Voice lessons have been justified. I am looking forward to continuing them.
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